An Important Anatomy Lesson

Everybody knows that the penis is not a muscle. If it was, you’d probably be at the gym right now. What most people don’t know is that there is a muscle that plays a crucial role in thefunctioning of the penis: the pubococcygeus muscle (pyoo-bo-cocksee-gee-us). Say that five times fast.

The pubococcygeus muscle-or PC muscle, for short-is actually a group of muscles that run from the pubic bone to the tailbone. Now, you may already know this muscle in a different way. The PC muscle is the muscle you use to stop the flow of urine from the bladder. It is also the muscle that contracts when you ejaculate, moving the semen up through the penis and out of the body.

The PC muscle is a busy little muscle. But let me tell you, as far as most men are concerned, it is still grossly underemployed. Don’t you worry-we’re going to change all that very soon. Male multiple orgasm depends on a strong PC muscle. The PC muscle is the key to penile reformation. It’s your ticket to the big leagues . . .your way to the top. Most of the techniques you will learn in later chapters cannot be done without PC power. That’s why the first set of exercises I introduce in this book is designed specifically to “prep” the PC muscle. These exercises, found in chapter 4, are crucial and must be done first. They cannot be skipped and they cannot be taken lightly. So don’t skip them, and don’t take them lightly. Please.

Power to the PC

Now you may be thinking, “I’m not eighteen anymore. My penis doesn’t function like the penis of a younger man, exercise or no exercise.” Listen to me. It doesn’t matter how old or young you are. Is an eighteen-year-old too young to go to the gym to strengthen his biceps? Is a sixty-year-old too old to walk three miles a day to strengthen his heart? Of course not. A muscle can be strengthened at any age. Strengthening exercises like these also lead to better health and a better sense of well-being, not to mention improved self-esteem.

The penis is no different. The PC muscle is a muscle, plain and simple. It works and responds like any other muscle, and it can be strengthened like any other muscle. And I’ve never seen a muscle that had a greater impact on a man’s self-esteem.

Just a Few Minutes a Day

Mastering the techniques of male multiple orgasm is a snap once you are “PC-ready.” And prepping your PC-getting it combat-ready-is simple. But you must be willing to stick with the program. That’s why right now I’m going to ask you for a commitment. I know how scary the word commitment can be to some guys, but this is one commitment you’ll never regret. Every man who is willing to do the work can bring his PC muscle to a state of readiness within two to three weeks. Often it takes even less than that. All you need is a few minutes a day to work the program. That’s right . . . just a few minutes a day. That’s a whole lot less time than you probably spend in the gym right now working on every muscle in your body but the one that really counts.

I know you can do it. All you need to do is stay committed to the process. Remember, your ability to master the secrets of multiple orgasm depends on a strong PC muscle. So warm up those cold feet and say yes to a commitment that is bound to change your life.

There are only two guidelines ask you to follow:

GUIDELINE 1: Always do at least one of the two exercises in each pair. It doesn’t matter whether you do the partner exercise or the solo exercise, but you must do one of them.

GUIDELINE 2: Please do the exercises in the order in which they are presented. The exercises build on each other, and you may get very frustrated if you try to skip around.

The easiest way to do these exercises is to read through each one before you begin. If you are working on a partner exercise, both of you should read through the exercise thoroughly. Discuss the exercise after you have read it. As I just explained to the women reading this book, both partners need to understand their roles in each exercise.

If either of you has any doubts, flush them out before you get started. Keep that line of communication open and clear. The more you talk now, the fewer complications you’ll have once the lights are dimmed. Pace yourselves. Don’t try to go through every exercise in a long weekend. Give yourselves weeks, or even months, to wander through the program. Learning to be multiorgasmic isn’t anything like learning to play the violin. This process is going to be
pleasurable from start to finish. You’re not going to have to wait until you get to Carnegie Hall before you start enjoying yourself. The most important thing is that you take your time and keep the pressure off.

Exercise 1: Hide and Seek

The very first thing you need to do is find your PC muscle. For
some men this is very simple-you probably knew where to find it the
moment I mentioned it. You may even be squeezing it right now.
But many men are completely unfamiliar with the muscles in this
area of the body. All of the individual muscles close to the groin-
buttocks, abdomen, thighs, and PC-may feel the same. They might all
feel like one big muscle mass. That needs to change right now. Here
is the simplest way to find your PC muscle and isolate it from all
the others.

First, gently place one or two fingers right behind your
testicles. Pretend that you are urinating. Now try to stop the flow.
That muscle you just used to turn off the flow from the bladder is
your PC muscle. Did you feel it tightening? Maybe you also noticed
that your penis and testicles “jumped” a little when you flexed your
PC.

It is very important that your stomach muscles and thigh
muscles remain relaxed. Did they get tense too? Try again. This time focus just on the PC.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP; You are not trying to get an erection here, and you do not need an erection to exercise the PC. So relax, and let your penis respond naturally to these exercises.

Exercise 2: Squeeze Play (three to five minutes a day)

Now that you’ve found your PC muscle, here is your next
exercise: Three times a day, flex the PC twenty times. Hold it for
one or two seconds each time, then release. That’s it. Twenty
squeezes, three times a day. I know it sounds simple, but words
cannot express how important this exercise is.
You do not need to keep your finger on the PC during these
exercises. You should be able to feel it move internally. If you
don’t, or if you’re not sure, then keep your finger on the PC the
first few times you do your exercises.

Breathe normally during this exercise. Like any other musclebuilding
exercise, proper breathing is always important. You don’t
want to hold your breath.

I want you to repeat this exercise three times a day, every
day, for three weeks. A consistent exercise regimen is the most
effective way to maximize the strengthening of your PC muscle in the
shortest amount of time. And it’s worth every moment.

TWO PC PITFALLS

These exercises are not hard, but there are two common mistakes
men make when they start these exercises that you need to be aware
of before we go any further:

MISTAKE 1: Doing too many reps. I know you’re feeling very
enthusiastic right now, but there is such a thing as overdoing it.
The PC muscle can get sore like any other muscle. You may have
already discovered this on your own. Go slow at first, as you would
when you start any other exercise for the first time, and let the
muscle build. You can pour it on later.

MISTAKE 2: Failing to isolate the PC. The PC is a small group of
muscles, which need to be isolated from the many larger muscles
close by during your exercises. As I said before, it is important
that your stomach, upper thighs, and buttocks are all completely
relaxed when you are working out the PC. They should not be moving.

Are you having difficulty isolating the PC from other muscles?
Many men have this problem when they try these exercises for the
first time. Not to worry. If you can’t stop yourself from tensing
other muscles during your PC exercises, you simply need to exhaust
these muscles first so they don’t interfere with your new exercise
regimen.

Let’s say you have a tendency to tense your stomach muscles
during your PC workout. What you need to do is tense and untense
your stomach muscles at least ten or twenty times before you begin
your PC exercises. That should tire them out enough so they don’t
get in the way. The same applies for buttock, thigh, and groin
muscles. If you have to work these muscles really hard before you
get to work on your PC, that’s okay. Do thirty or forty reps if
twenty isn’t enough. This may sound like a lot of work, but you’re
not going to have to do this for the rest of your life-just for a
couple of days.

Once you have really isolated your PC, your muscle “confusion”
should dissolve, leaving you free to devote your full attention to
working the program. With that in mind, let us now return to our
regularly scheduled program, already in progress.

Exercise 3: The Big Squeeze (two to three minutes a day)
Have you done your reps three times a day for the last three
weeks? Good. Now you’re ready to learn what I call “The Big Squeeze”
(a.k.a. “The Power Squeeze” or “The Death Grip”). I want you to keep
doing your twenty quick squeezes, three times a day. But now you’re
going to add ten really slow squeezes. This is what you do. Take
five seconds to slowly squeeze your PC as tight as you can. Now hold
the tension for a full five seconds, if possible. Finally, release
the tension gradually over the next five seconds. You should be able
to feel yourself really working the muscle.

This might be a bit difficult at first. You may only be able to
do one or two fifteen-second squeezes before you tire. That’s okay.
But try to eventually work up to ten full repetitions, each taking
ten to fifteen seconds. It may take you a few days, or even a few
weeks, to get there. That’s okay. It’s more important that you don’t
push yourself too hard. You’re not training to be an American
Gladiator. Just enjoy the process and keep squeezing.

Sensate Focus

Play by the Rules

Before we begin, you need to know the three of sensate focus:

RULE 1: Pay attention to exactly where you are touching or where you are being touched. Try to stay as focused as possible.

RULE 2: Stay in the here and now. Don’t think about what happened
last week or what could happen next Thursday. Try to let go of
anything that is not happening at this very moment.

RULE 3: Don’t put any pressure on yourself. If you’re working with a partner, don’t put any pressure on her either. Sex therapists call this “nondemand interaction.” I will call the sensate focus
exercises “demand-free” or “pressure-free” exercises. There are no
grades here, no good and bad, no right or wrong, just touching and
being touched.

Preparing for the Exercises

From this point forward, I recommend you do all of the
exercises in-the book in a quiet room that is free from
distractions. You are going to need a comfortable bed (you may
prefer a comfortable chair for the solo exercises). You are also
going to need some K-Y jelly, baby oil, massage oil, cream, or other
lubricant. Be sure to use a lubricant that does not irritate the
genitals-for women, K-Y jelly is usually the safest choice. Keep a
clean towel handy. If you use condoms, have them by the bedside
within easy reach.

You may find it helpful to have a clock to keep you from
completely losing track of the time. If there is a telephone in the
room, turn it off. If there are children in the house, they should
be sound asleep or with a babysitter. The room should be lit
according to your preferences, but I don’t recommend playing any
music. You need to focus as much as possible on the sensations you
are about to experience.

If you were learning these techniques at our offices, the setup
would be no different. We provide a quiet room with a bed,
lubricants, clock, towel, etc. There is no special equipment that is
required.

Learning the Genital Caress
There are many different sensate focus techniques. For the
purposes of this book, however, there is only one technique that you
need to learn: the genital caress. You can learn the sensate focus
genital caress with a partner (Exercise 4) or by yourself (Exercise
5). You are going to need about one hour for Exercise 4 and thirty
minutes for Exercise 5.

Exercise 4: Touch of Heaven (with a partner)
In this exercise, one partner will play the active role while
the other plays the passive role. Then you will switch in the middle
so no one feels shortchanged.

Let’s say that the woman is going to be the passive partner
first. The first thing she needs to do is lie on her back and get
very comfortable. She needs to take her time and get completely
relaxed. This exercise does not begin until the passive partner is
completely relaxed.

As the active partner, you are going to start slowly, gently
stroking the front of her body for about fifteen or twenty minutes.
The style of touching is called a caress. When you caress, you touch
in a very, very slow, focused fashion. Because this is a genital
caress, your stroking is going to focus primarily on her genitals,
though it does not have to be limited to her genitals.

Slowly start to caress her genitals with your fingers or mouth,
touching both the outside and inside of her vagina. Use lots of
lubrication. Focus intently on the areas you are touching. Pay
careful attention to what they feel like and what they look like.
Absorb yourself in those sensations. Remember that this is a demandfree
exercise. You are not touching to please her or to turn her on.
You are touching to please you. That takes the pressure off her and
it also takes the pressure off you.

All your partner needs to do is lie still, relax, and feel her
sensations. She should stay completely passive, with her eyes
closed. She shouldn’t move. She should not try to reciprocate. She
should not talk unless you are making her uncomfortable. She needs
only to let herself feel your touch. If she gets distracted, she
needs to gently bring her focus back to where you are touching her.

If you notice her body getting tense, lightly pat her on the leg as
a signal for her to relax. Try to stay as focused as possible,
deeply absorbed in touching her and the way that feels. If your mind
starts wandering, you need to gently refocus your mind on the
caress. It doesn’t matter how many times your mind strays. All that
matters is that each time you recognize the shift, you bring
yourself back to the exercise.

This is a wonderful technique for learning to relax and connect
to your feelings. Your only goal is to get as much pleasure as
possible for yourself while your partner is getting as much pleasure
as possible for herself. If you find yourself getting mechanical or
getting bored with your caressing, slow down. Chances are, you
aren’t letting yourself really be in the moment.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: If you start rubbing your partner’s clitoris or
trying to turn her on in some way, she will be able to feel the
shift in your intentions. She is playing the passive role and is not
supposed to respond in any way. So don’t try to change the rules.

Stick with the program.
Now it’s your turn. Once you’ve played the active role for
about twenty minutes, you are ready to switch roles. (Of course, you
can take longer if you wish.) This time, the man will be taking the
passive role.

Lie down comfortably on your back with your legs slightly
spread. Let your arms rest at your sides, or place them under your
head. Once you have settled into a position, try not to change it.
Your partner will spend the next twenty or so minutes caressing
the front of your body, concentrating primarily on caressing your
genitals. I recommend she uses baby oil or some other lubricant you
both like. She can caress you with her hands, with her mouth, or
with both.
Your job is to stay focused on her touch, and how it feels.
Don’t move around and don’t talk. Let your partner explore the
feeling of touching your penis and scrotum.
It does not matter whether or not you get an erection. A soft
penis should feel as good to her as a hard penis, just different.
She is only focusing on the sensation of touching you, not on your
arousal (and not on hers). If you do get an erection, it is very
important to understand that you don’t have to do anything with it.
All you need to do right now is enjoy the sensations of your own
arousal.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: Make sure your partner knows that her goal is
not to turn you on. All she is supposed to do is touch you in a way
that feels good to her.

Don’t flex your PC muscle during this exercise. Don’t hold your
breath. Just close your eyes, relax, and focus on her caresses. If
you become very aroused and you ejaculate, that’s okay. Just let
your partner wipe you off and continue her caress. The important
thing is that you don’t try to force anything.

If your partner senses that you are tensing up, she should
signal you to relax by gently tapping you on the leg. The only time
you should talk to her is if she is doing something that makes you
uncomfortable. Otherwise, just release yourself into the moment and
enjoy the sensations.

If you find yourself drifting off, gently bring your focus back
to where your partner is touching you. It doesn’t matter how often
you drift. Just practice bringing yourself back into the moment.
If you don’t have a partner, or if you prefer to practice by
yourself, the sensate focus genital caress is still quite pleasurable. It is important to remember that this is not a
masturbation exercise. It is a way of experiencing the many rich
sensations of your own arousal. Ejaculation is not a goal. If it
happens, that’s fine, but you are not trying to make it happen. Your
goal is simply to create and experience as much sensation in your
penis as possible.

Exercise 5: Alone at Last (solo)Lie on your back, close your eyes, and get very comfortable (you may prefer to sit in a comfortable chair). Using plenty of lubrication, slowly, gently touch yourself in a caressing way. You may want to start by touching your nipples or thighs, since both are probably quite sensitive. Then slowly move to the genitals. Once you begin caressing your penis, do not use a masturbation stroke. Do nottry to turn yourself on.

Explore every crease and fold in the
genital area. Take your time.
Remember that the most important thing is to stay as relaxed as
possible and focused on the here and now. You are not trying to do
anything except enjoy the sensations. If you have an erection,
that’s fine. If you don’t, that’s fine too. But you should not be
trying to give yourself one. This is a pressure-free exercise. All
you want to do is experience the richness of your own arousal. If
your mind starts to wander, gently bring your focus back to the
sensations you’re experiencing in the moment. This may happen
several times. That’s okay. Just keep bringing your focus back to
the exercise.

TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: If you have thoughts like, “I wonder if I’m
really hard,” or “I wonder if I could give myself an orgasm,” you
are thinking about your performance. That means you’re putting
subtle pressure on yourself. Just stay with the sensations. That’s
your only goal.

I suggest you do this exercise for at least twenty minutes, if
not longer. Thirty minutes is ideal. Sometimes, in the absence of a
partner, there is a tendency to rush everything. This defeats the
whole purpose of sensate focus. Remember that the emphasis is on
sensuality, not sexuality. Some men feel a bit self-conscious during
this exercise. This is very normal, especially if you are a man who
does not masturbate often, or someone who tends to rush to the point
of climax. Don’t be concerned. Your discomfort should ease over
time.

It Sure Feels Good, But …
The sensate focus genital caress feels pretty terrific. That’s
reason enough to learn it. From this point on, almost every exercise
in this book begins with this caress. That’s another good reason to
learn it. But why is it so important?
The sensate focus genital caress lets you pay attention to your
sensations without getting distracted. It lets you focus. It lets
you stay in the here and now. And it keeps the pressure off you and
off your partner. You need to be able to do all of these things to
master the art of male multiple orgasm.
We can talk and talk about the many benefits of the sensate
focus genital caress. But you need some experience actually feeling
it. That’s why I’ve included the above exercises. So enjoy yourself,
repeat them as many times as you like, but remember that the
pleasure you’re getting right now is only one of the payoffs.